Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
