honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
