Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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