I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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