Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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