I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
