every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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