I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
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I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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