My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
