Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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