Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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