Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
