every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
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the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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