so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
