if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
