Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dick very happy bro
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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