She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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