I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
