He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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