She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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