I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
