I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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