Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
