OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
