I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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