Your dad touched me again.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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