i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
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