In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
