so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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