remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
