a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was like getting head from an anaconda
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
