I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
