So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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