sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
