We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
