There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize