He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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