Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize