um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize