yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm like, not good at living.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
