Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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