last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
