I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
