Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
