I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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