guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
