i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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