He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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