Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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