Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
