why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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