Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
