hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
