$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize