imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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