Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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