From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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