I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
