i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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