I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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