I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
