if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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