nut hugger
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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