Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
