and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
false alarm, still single
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
